Paly internet to Stand Still in DDoS Attack, Nobody Notices.

In a series of attacks directed against the Student Wireless network at Palo Alto High School, last Monday, a group of hackers known as the “Gang of 1001101010110” the Paly internet speed was brought to near-stand still.

In the middle of what eventually became a three-hour wait for a five-minute cat video, students noted that “the internet seemed a little bit slow” and some even went so far as to think that “something might be wrong with the internet.” Such moments of brief doubt quickly passed without much notice.

Although senior administration officials are reluctant to admit it ever happened, Pillage source confirm that a DDoS attack was executed on the Student Wireless network at 2:26pm Monday afternoon. One member of the “Gang of 1001101010110″ told Pillage reporters that he was” extremely disappointed” with the level of response elicited from the school.

Although most senior administrations refuse to acknowledge the existence of this strike, one official who wishes to remain un-named remarked that “[T]his attack honestly gave [the administration] a lot of ideas.” Like getting rid of existing safety mechanisms. The administration “now recognizes that any DDoS attack on the Student Wireless network is practically meaningless.” In other words, rather than wasting thousands every year on security that can ultimately be bypassed easily, since the crash of Student Wireless would not in any way inhibit network speeds. The administration, therefore, appears “perfectly willing” to allow another DDoS attack to occur.

*3-month-old idea courtesy of Nicholas Lai.

DISCLAIMER: The content of this article is purely satire and not meant to represent real-life events. Any similarities between characters in articles and characters in real life is purely coincidental. Please don’t sue us for libel.


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