Gym Woes Put Socks at Center of Debate

Dirty-socks2
PALY- Due to popular demand, Palo Alto High School will see it’s historical gym be demolished and replaced with the loud construction noises that have achieved school-wide critical acclaim for their levels of disturbance and caterwauling. The plan to destroy the gym has come across a few issues such as an excess of dirty gym socks still in the lockers. There has been much debate over what precisely to do with these socks- whether to regard them as pieces of Paly heritage or simply to throw them away- and has sharply divided several members of the athletic faculty.

The administration- yielding to popular demand- donated leftover gym socks to the Paly Sports department to raise money for our desperately underfunded athletics program. “We feel that these relics of days gone by deserve to be made to the public, not locked up in some cabinet where no one will ever see them” noted on Paly Senior. “The Paly Sports Department belongs to all of us and therefore all of us should be able to buy a piece of Paly’s legacy.

The auction is starting this Saturday at 9:00 am. Bidding will start at $8 per sock and $15 per pair. Disclaimer: the school is not responsible for any diseases transmitted socksually.

DISCLAIMER: The content of this article is purely satire and not meant to represent real-life events. Any similarities between characters in articles and characters in real life is purely coincidental. Please don’t sue us for libel.

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